It’s been an off week. I’ve just felt out of sorts.
I’ve always struggled with self-promotion. Or even sharing things when someone asks how things are going. I’m trying to find the balance of sharing what I created but not feel like I’m bombarding people. But I’m proud of the things I create. I keep reminding myself that people chose to subscribe/follow me online and therefore are interested in what I’m up to. I realize that I have to tell people what I’m up to if I ever hope to land any clients. That is what’s been on mind this week.
A few weeks ago I mentioned theAva Duvernay Barbie dolls. JK Rowling wrote a play calledHarry Potter and the Cursed Childwhich takes place nineteen years after the end ofDeathly Hollows. Noma Dumezweni has been cast as Hermione, to the delight of tumblr and millions of Harry Potter fans. JK Rowling defended the casting choice and responded with this tweet in regards to some of the backlash.
I always loved the racebending on tumblr for all media. I’m really excited that the same content is being shown with multiple races present. Between this news andHamilition’s existence, it’s nice to see me represented in mass media as something more than our history.
I’ve been trying to stay on top of the news regarding the refugee crisis. I thought about housing, food, education, assimilation. I never thought about citizenship. In America, you’re automatically a citizen if you are born on American soil. A simple law, easy to understand. In other parts of the world that is not the case. In Syria, citizenship can only be inherited from the father. Many refugees are single mothers entering Europe without nationality papers. There are millions of people that can’t vote or gain or employment or exist fully in any country because they don’t have citizenship anywhere.This guardian articlegoes into more detail about a problem that I didn’t know existed but will have a huge impact for millions of people.
“You probably knew a girl like me in grade school: a girl that mostly kept to herself, didn’t talk much and hardly ever raised her hand in class. You probably knew her as “shy” and “quiet” and “introverted,” adjectives that pair well with “bookish” and “nerdy” in an attempt to make it seem like you knew more about her personality than you actually did. If you were friends with her, you knew she just took awhile to “warm up” to people. If you weren’t, you had no idea how much she had to say…”
I readthis article on femsplain and said “this is me”. I was and still am the quiet, bookish girl who has a lot to say but most people don’t know that when first meeting me.
“…Women need to speak differently than men Mr. Johnson. Our voice inflection needs to go up at the end of sentences or we’ll seem too “headstrong.” We need to apologize for speaking. And then apologize for apologizing. We must pepper our speeches with “I don’t know’s”,“ maybe’s” and “excuse me’s…”
When you edit yourself each week for your youtube channel you become hyper aware of your speech patterns. I do this all of the time. Apologizing before speaking, starting a sentence with “I don’t know” so I don’t come on too strong. Too many “wells” and “maybe” instead of stating my point.
“I wrote Ribcage in response to a moment in time where someone used my vulnerability for profit. In the most irrelevant and unexpected way, I was asked about my history of sexual abuse on a live television talk show. I felt humiliated and enraged that my abuse was used as a tool for ratings. After the show, I wanted to shut down. I thought, “why continue to be open about my trauma if it is going to be used in a way that harms me?” After some healing and a lot of thought, I knew that I had to continue my path of speaking out, and that the incident that happened on television was an opportunity to educate, rather than shut down. I’ve learned one important thing:no one is ever entitled to your story, and no one can tell it the way you can. I still believe in the power of vulnerability; that openness is the key to empathy, and that empathy is the key to honest, human connection. Though Ribcage is a dark take on vulnerability, it’s a real one. It’s mine.”
On Monday I will be posting a monthly roundup of everything I’ve written along with the total number of pitches I sent out.
Thoughts this week revolve around linkedin. I have alinkedin profilehowever I never use it. I set it up in frustration about a year ago but never saw it as beneficial to my work in theater. Most of my theater jobs came from being in the right place at the right time. And I was frustrated by the platforms limitations. Yes, I work all of these jobs simultaneously. No I can’t succinctly describe what I do.
I read a few articles this week that implored me to reconsider how I was using the platform. My take away is that I should use Linkedin like how I use facebook andtwitter-join groups, interact with people, publish updates. I’m just hesitant to addanotherplace I must check in to. Have any of you found linkedin helpful?
This post is a moment of honesty about where my head was at last week.
As I said in my2016 goals, I want to earn my money from writing and from social media management. Well, until that happens I still have to earn a living. I currently work in theater, backstage. It’s been tough trying to find the balance between starting a new career and leaving the old one behind. On the days that I work, I don’t have the energy to write. But if I don’t put all of my energy towards this, I’ll always wonder what if…
I’ve been wondering if having a career in writing is possible for me. It took over a year for me to really get my theater career going post graduation. In that year, that was all I was focused on. However, I don’t have a year to wait before I see results. Financially, I need results sooner rather than later. Like in the gif, I’m feeling a bit lost. Lost about how to get to where I want to be and what to do in the mean time. Should I keep applying for other jobs? Or should I hope that this writing thing works out? Not that finding another job is that easy. I’ve applied to over 50 jobs in the last year and gotten zero. I’m being pulled in many different directions with no clear path.
In 2015, I readfar fewer booksthan last year, but I also read more broadly. Two of the books listed below were mentioned in areading wrap upon InconnuMag, where I work as an editorial assistant. There is a read more link for those two books. Amanda Palmer retweeted the InconnuMag article!
DARK SPARKLER by Amber Tamblyn
This is a book of poetry written by actress Amber Tamblyn (Sister of the Travelling Pants, Joan of Arcadia). I haven’t finished the book but so far it’s been heartbreaking. Heartbreaking for the women that died too soon but also for the women still here fighting the same battle. Each poem is about an actress who died too soon. The poems try to look beyond the veil, humanize them. The poem above is one of my favorites. It perfectly encapsulates the hypocrisy of working in entertainment.
GEORGEby Alex Gino
George is a middle grade book about a little boy named George who desperately wants everyone to realize that he is a girl. I loved the innocence the author captured in this book. It reminded me of being 10 years old and how monumental small moments were. How crushing it was when your friends stopped talking to you. Just like for George, it was jarring reading the different pronouns because I wasn’t used to it. The tagline for the book is perfect: Be Who You Are.
BECAUSE YOU’RE NOW BANGING A FRENCH GIRLby Nicolette Daskalakis
This was an independent book of poetry I found at a local bookshop. It was incredible. It deals with topics ranging from a first kiss, to bad one night stands, to hangovers, to growing up. All of the poems are quite short but really powerful. It reminded me of Ellen Hopkins because they are both able to say a lot with a few words.
TRACKSby Robyn Davidson
Tracksis a memoir chronicling Robyn Davidson’s 1,700 mile solo journey across the Australian outback in the 1970s. I found this book because of the 2013 film starring Mia Wasikowska. Especially when I was frustrated with something in my life, I’ve thought, ‘Why don’t I take a trip somewhere by myself. Just get away to clear my head.’ I loved that she actually did it. She walked to the Indian Ocean with 3 camels and a dog. This book reminded me how isolated the world used to be. You couldn’t take this trip in relative secrecy today.
HOW TO BE A WOMAN by Caitlin Moran
“Caitlin Moran is a feminist icon/journalist in England who wrote a very humorous tongue-and-cheek book where each chapter addresses taboo things that women struggle with, from menstruation to sexual fantasies...”READ MORE
THE ART OF ASKING by Amanda Palmer
“The Art of Askingis based on theTED talkthat musician Amanda Palmer gave in 2013. In the book, she discusses the difficulty in asking for help because it means being vulnerable...”READ MORE
