#2: Good Karma

    Today is project for awesome. P4A is a day dedicated to trying to make the world a better place as you spend time on the internet. It was started in 2007 by the Vlogbrothers, Hank and John Green. Each year on Dec 17, people all over the internet make videos in support of their favorite charities. Through an indiegogo campaign, people donate money into one huge pot that will then be divided amongst the top voted charities. In addition, John Green will donate 1 penny for each comment on a project for awesome video. Click here for the video explaining this more eloquently.

     I love project for awesome because it's not about how much money you can give but coming together as a community to discuss what's important to you and in doing so actually change the world. You have the chance to be a part of something larger than yourself. It's not all about money. Simply by taking the time to comment, or share a video you are helping.

     There is a live stream happening for the next 24 hours on the vlogbrothers channel. I made a video in support of the arts that you can watch here. Below is a list of some of my favorite videos so far.

The Butterfly Foundation
Kiva/Tab for a Cause (Broke Student Edition)
Wikimedia Foundation
Child's Play

So far we've raised $422,000 (as of 1:30am Dec 18, 2013)

#1: Kindness

I read a tumblr post last night:    
     "Stop hating yourself. Try going one day without saying anything bad about yourself. Try complimenting yourself. Do it again. Buy yourself dinner. Put soft things against your skin. Listen to your favorite songs. Eat ice cream. Eat ice cream naked. You have to spend the rest of your life with you. You’re all you’ve got. Be kind, start loving yourself." 

After reading the tumblr post I decided to take on challenge 20 today, kindness. I tried to be kinder to myself and say only positive things.

I woke up in a weird mood then had a crappy day at work so the kindness thing was a bit difficult. I wasn't mean to myself, I just wasn't looking at the day positively. It was interesting to note how much calmer I felt when I was thinking positive thoughts over negative ones.

New Year's Revolution

     Happy Almost New Years! 2013 was the first time I decided to make New Years Resolutions. One of those resolutions was to try new things. As I dived into the internet, I found the New Year's Revolution: Try Something New Challenge. What is that you may ask? British Channel 4 started this revolution in January of 2012. The challenges are active resolutions that encourage you to try something new. Youtuber missxrojas did a vlog series of her completing each of the challenges. *The original website is no longer active but I will have a list on this blog of each days challenges.*

       I have decided to take part in the challenge as a way to end 2013 and bring in the new year. Like all challenges there will be a few rules. I haven't felt like being in front of the camera so I will write about each challenge instead of filming a video (with the option of changing my mind). I will take on these challenges over the next few months. I don't like the pressure of having to post anything daily. Let the games begin.

Success

*originally written March 1, 2013

          I've been struggling with how to define success.  I have human goals of being happy and content with my life.  I want to be able to support myself.  But I feel this overriding pressure that I should be willing to do anything to be successful, even if it means sacrificing myself.  

          In school I was taught success is having a stable and steady job, a house with a white picket fence in the suburbs and 2 kids, a boy and a girl.  To be successful you need to be active and be productive I was told.  Being productive meant going to an office and sitting at a desk working a set number of hours and coming home.  Now there is nothing wrong with this American dream but why is it the only dream? 

          Nowhere in my list of success is stuff.  I really value the intangibles of life.  I love having amazing conversations with people.  I love traveling to new places.  I love the feeling of pride I get when I do something I didn't think I could accomplish or the calm peace when I finish editing a video or a painting.  These are the things that make me happy, not a house with a white picket fence.  My successful is being happy and creatively fulfilled with my life.  It means not feeling stuck in one career but permeating many careers to support myself.  It means being my own boss and having the ability to walk away.  As an artist, my productive is watching films and browsing the internet and thinking and writing.  My productive is talking with friends and reading a book because you never know when inspiration will hit.  

  As I'm embarking on this journey where I make the rules, I feel judged by the outside world and I sometimes feel guilty.  I have a difficult time articulating to "adults" what it is that I want for myself, especially since it is not the usual answer.  I feel judged when I say I don't want one full-time job but many part time jobs.  I feel judged when I say I don't want to choose one industry because I love too many things to choose.  I feel judged when I say I plan on moving to Europe and the overwhelming response is to undermine my feelings about this city I've lived in and loathed all of my life.  And finally, I feel guilty because I know how much easier it would be if I could just be a doctor or a lawyer, a stable and respected career path.  It would be so much easier to say that my $200,000 sheet of paper will gain me employment.  It would be so much easier if I did what is expected, but I can't do what's expected, I must to do what's right for me. 

   

              This is just a quick update post. Sorry for the lack of posts this month. I decided to attempt VEDA this year and have been working a ton so writing fell by the waist side. What is VEDA you may ask? VEDA stands for Vlog/Video EveryDay in April. Click here for VEDA playlist.  Hopefully once April is over, I will start posting 2-3 articles a month.

written Feb 12, 2013

TV Review: Girls: One Man's Trash
by Ariana Burrell

"If anything I think I’m too smart and too sensitive too like, not crazy."

***SPOILERS***

       Episode 5 in season 2 of Girls is beautifully poignant and perfect.  It could be a stand alone 30 minute short film exploring what everyone desires: happiness.  Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham) sleeps with a married doctor and gets a glimpse into what she could have.  She sees that she could be loved and be happy and not have to settle for the crap she's been accepting. At the end, she realizes she is afraid of it and how the realization of this, changes how she sees herself.

       Joshua (Patrick Wilson) is a 40 something doctor going through a divorce from his wife.  He really showed how young Hannah is and how much more maturing and growing she still has.  Being around other 20 somethings just as lost and confused as you, you sometimes forget what else is out there and what else is possible.

       The second sex scene between Hannah and Joshua (Patrick Wilson) is intimate and mature and respectful of each other, unlike every sex scene between Hannah and Adam (Adam Driver).  This whole episode felt intimate and personal and  not awkward in the usual way.  It was really about two people searching for connection to thwart their loneliness during a moment of transition in their lives. 

"Please don't tell anyone this, but I want to be happy"

Girls and Race on Youtube

Girls and Race on Youtube
by Ariana Burrell

Monday's episode of Becoming Youtube caused quite a stir online.  Becoming Youtube is a 12 part documentary series about this new phenomena of online vloggers.  This weeks episode discussed women on youtube and whether or not gender affected your success.  Watch here.  My response video here.

       
          I really appreciate the episode trying to approach such an important but hot button topic.  I felt Benjamin Cook, the mastermind behind this series tried to approach this as tactfully as possible. And I appreciated him explaining how he chose who to interview because I've been wondering for several episodes why there isn't a balance of men and women highlighted in the series.  As we move forward with the discussion, let's remember to be civil because many of the comments on Youtube and twitter were a bit aggressive and accusatory.     

 
              I thought Hazel's example hit the nail in the head.  A female killing a male patient has a different connotation than a male dentist killing a female patient.  Like it or not it is just different because people are perceived differently based on their gender.

 
             I'm just as guilty of this as anyone because 75% of the channels I subscribed to were created by men.  Until the Lady's Youtube Panel at Vidcon panel brought it to my attention, I hadn't noticed.  Since then I have found countless female youtubers that create amazing content.  The take away from this isn't a lack of female content creators but a lack of recognition from other media sources about some of these amazing channels.

 
I don't have an answer for this, but I also find it interesting that the most successful youtubers are white males. I don't hear nearly as much from an Asian or an African American youtuber male or female.  This brings up the question, Does race affect your popularity on youtube? This is such a complex question, that I would love a second series of Becoming Youtube to address race.  We live in such rich and diverse societies, I want to see that reflected in the content I watch and create.  

   
         I think we need to define what it means to be a successful youtuber.  Is it making your living solely from youtube videos? Is it the number of subscribers and view count? Becoming Youtube has used the definition of most views and high number of subscribers.  But one thing that is left out of the conversation is how engaged is your audience.  I've had many amazing discussions in the MissxRojas or Owlsayshoot videos.  Those discussions are just as important as half a million people passively watching a video because these conversations can create change.  

 
I was afraid to start vlogging for a long time because of potential backlash.  I've read some of the nasty comments geared towards female you tubers that usually involve her looks and racial slurs towards.  All of these comments are about things that cannot be changed.  Thoughtful criticism suggests improvement on content as opposed to vicious hate.  Like if someone hates a video that I've made, well it might not be their type of content.  If they start harassing me about my appearance, well that's something that is permanent.  This is a very heavy quote but comedian Chelsea Perretti said "Men's biggest fear is that women will laugh at them. And women's biggest fear is that men will rape them." Even if that quote is half true, the perceived level of risk and danger is much different between men and women.  Historically it is also more dangerous for someone who isn't white.

 
For all content creators but especially new you tubers, more people need to speak out and say it okay to try something new and have it not work out.  Looking at the landscape today, things are very polished with nice equipment and higher production values by people who have been creating things for years.  To be honest, all of that scared me away from making videos for months and months and months.  The point that changed things for me was Charlie McDonnell's I'm Scared Video and it's rippling effects across the internet of creators saying they were scared and second guessing themselves.  If the "successful" you tubers I watched were still scared and nervous to post their creations, than it was okay for me to be as well.  Then crabstickz encouraged everyone to make videos and that no one starts out amazing.  Male or female, we need to be more willing to take risks and try things and supporting everyone as they try new things.

 
Thank you to Benjamin Cook starting this great discussion. There is a great list of female content creators floating around the internet and a new website to highlight amazing female channels Wonderly.com. 

Film Review: Liz & Dick

by Ariana Burrell

"I'm bored, so bored"

          Liz and Dick is a 2012 Lifetime film that spans 30 years of Elizabeth Taylor's life from divorcing her fourth husband Eddie Fisher to meeting, marrying, divorcing, and remarrying Richard Burton.  Lindsay Lohan plays Elizabeth Taylor and Grant Bowler portrays Richard Burton.  

As someone who didn't know much about Elizabeth Taylor, I found the film very hard to follow.  I knew she had several marriages and was an important actress in film history but the film did not give enough background information.  

The film begins in the middle of shooting Cleopatra.  There were no title cards or introductions, you were just dropped into the middle of the action.  I thought I had accidentally skipped the first 20 minutes of the film, but I had not.  

No one is introduced.  Because of the media surrounding the film, I knew that Lindsay Lohan is portraying Elizabeth Taylor and Grant Bowler is portraying Richard Burton but the film never explains who Richard is.  He is an actor on a film set but the audience does not know what happened right before that to cause Richard to have an affair with Elizabeth.  There is no chemistry between these two actors, making the stakes of Elizabeth leaving her husband and Richard leaving his wife feel unimportant.    

I did not feel anything towards the characters or their situation.  For instance, their accountant keeps telling the couple that they are having financial issues but we as the audience never see the ramifications of the financial issues.  They keep spending money and taking fancy vacations with no repercussions.   

Lindsay as Elizabeth never ages.  Her wigs change but her face stays the same.  I didn't believe her playing Elizabeth at 29 nor did I believe her in her 60s.  Because she never ages, I had trouble following the timeline of events as the film spans 30 years.

In between each major event is Elizabeth and Richard sitting in director's chairs in a black box commenting on what has transpired on screen.  You'd think that these comments would help fill in plot holes and give background information but it is more of a rehashing of what we just saw.  For instance, Elizabeth tries to kill herself to get Richard's attention.  Cut to the black box and she says that she was upset that Richard wouldn't leave his wife for her.  As the audience, we already understood that.  Happy people don't try to commit suicide.   

Film Review: 17 Filles

by Ariana Burrell

"Nobody can stop a girl who dreams"

17 Filles (17 Girls) is a French film based off of the pregnancy scandal in Gloucester, Massachusettes. In 2008, 18 students became pregnant at one school in the same school year creating a media frenzy.  17 FIlles is the French interpretation of the American scandal.  

17 Filles was released in 2011 at the Cannes Film Festival.  It is the first feature film by sisters Delphine and Muriel Coulin.  The film opens with Camille, the group leader, accidentally getting pregnant at 16.  She decides to keep the baby as a way of taking control of her life and suggests her friends do the same.  Just like Camille, her friends want to have more control over their lives and they think this is the way to achieve that.  This idea permeates the school, sending the town into chaos. 

The film is very quiet and ethereal with the story moving forward without much dialogue.  There was something mysterious and dream like about it.  Tonally it reminded me of The Virgin Suicides directed by Sophia Coppola because the audience was always watching from afar trying to understand this situation.  Like The Virgin Suicides, the audience never receives any answers but is left wondering and questioning everything.  Parental reactions are not shown until the very end of the film, creating this feeling of intimacy in this very insular world. The adults feel helpless and cannot offer any answers or solutions to stopping the pregnancies.   

I did find the constantly shifting point of view hard to follow because many of the girls physically looked similar and had the same hair color.  I kept confusing many of them.  But I always recognized Camille, the pact leader.  Additionally, I would have liked more answers.  This felt like an expose of a situation without offering any new insight or solutions to the problems.  Because of the mystery surrounding this real life situation, I would love to known the aftermath of all of this.  Were the girls happy with their decision once the babies arrived? Did it live up to their expectations? Do they regret their decision? Were they able to stay in school?

written Jan 17, 2013

Film Review: Silver Linings Playbook

by Ariana Burrell

"You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things"
~Tiffany

Silver Linings Playbook (2012) is a lovely and complicated film that tugs at your heart strings.  I'm happily surprised that the film was made because it is so unusual and hard to explain.  I really enjoyed the film and it did live up to its hype.

Silver Linings Playbook stars Bradley Cooper (Limitless, The Hangover) and Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games) as Pat and Tiffany, respectively.  Both people are struggling with life and make a genuine connection over depression and mental illness.  This film is not about the ending but about the journey these two people have.  This entire journey was complicated and messy and the ending fell flat for me because of its simplicity, but I enjoyed the entire progression so much that I can forgive the ending.

Both Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence gave incredible performances.  I had not seen either of them in other films but they pulled me into this world.  Their chemistry together felt real and dangerous.  Jennifer Lawrence's character is just as complicated and fleshed out of a character as Bradley Copper's.  She doesn't apologize for being who she is and her goal in life is NOT to find a man, which is very refreshing.

David O. Russell directed and adapted the screenplay from Matthew Quick's novel of the same name.  Russell beautifully directed the large ensemble scenes with 5-7 people because the scenes were full of energy and tension but still felt intimate like a theater piece.  Everything felt effortless and necessary. 

A mark of a great film for me is one where I don't think "when is this film going to be over."  Secondly, am I still thinking about it as I walk out of the theater.  Yes to both of these.  I couldn't stop thinking about the film and wanting to see it again to try and understand more.  

The film is nominated for 8 Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Director and won Lawrence a Golden Globe for Best Actress.

"How old are you?"

"Old Enough to have a marriage end and not wind up in a mental hospital."